


Ghosts

by helsinkibaby



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Age Difference, Angst, Community: comment_fic, F/M, Het, Rare Pair, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-28 00:31:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8423737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helsinkibaby/pseuds/helsinkibaby
Summary: When Joe stands Caitlin up, she goes to find him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/762429.html?thread=100263997#t100263997  
> Theme : ghosts  
> Prompt: The Flash, Caitlin Snow/Joe West, I know I can't take one more step towards you  
> 'Cause all that's waiting is regret  
> Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore  
> You lost the love I loved the most

Caitlin's heels clicked on the smooth polished tile of the CCPD headquarters as she made her way towards the squad room. This late at the night, the place was pretty much deserted, one lone desk light burning in the middle of the room. A smile came to Caitlin's lips as she saw Joe, shoulders hunched over the desk, head resting on one hand as the other made notations on one of the stack of reports in front of him. Which didn't look to be good news for their dinner plans but considering they were already running late, she'd more or less written those off anyway. 

Not that she minded really. After all, a candlelit restaurant is nice, but takeout whilst snuggled on the couch has its own advantages. 

"So, Detective..." She keeps her voice low, just in case anyone is around that she can't see. Of course, it also has the advantage of sounding seductive. "Is this why you're standing me up? A hot date with some paperwork?" 

She bumps her hip against his desk, grinning down at him and she's surprised when he looks up at her, looks anything but happy to see her. Not once, in the nine or so months they've been dating, has Joe ever looked at her like that. His mouth is set in a thin line, a frown furrowing his brow and she feels very cold suddenly. "I thought you might have got a better offer." 

It's Caitlin's turn to frown, to narrow her eyes. "What are you talking about?" There have been any number of occasions when STAR Labs and the latest meta human threat have made her late, but he's never reacted like this. 

"Look, I know, OK? You don't have to play coy." He lays down his pen firmly, deliberately, on the desk. His voice is even, one might almost say calm, but she knows him well enough to hear the effort behind it. 

He's angry. 

And she's getting there. 

"I'm not playing." She straightens up, makes her voice more crisp. Not for nothing had she spent years at the knee of Carla Tannhauser. Joe blinks as she crosses her arms over her chest and stares him down. "And I think you'd better explain what the hell it is you think I should know."

Joe looks around the deserted bullpen. "I'm not having this conversation here-"

She cuts him off. "Well we're having it somewhere, because I don't exactly like being accused of something when I don't even know what it is!"

There's a huff of breath that sounds annoyed, but Caitlin doesn't care - after all, he's the one who started this. He throws a look over his shoulder, stands and leads her to the captain's office. It's deserted, Singh obviously long gone, and he switches on the lights, ushers her in and closes the door firmly behind them. 

She stands in front of Singh's desk, waits for him to speak and when he does, his voice is heavy. "Caitlin, I know, OK? I saw you. At lunch. In Jitters."

Just like that, his behaviour makes perfect sense. "Oh."

"Yeah. Oh." He runs his hands over his face. "I saw you and Ronnie. The way he looked at you, the way he was holding your hand." Caitlin swallows hard, her stomach churning at the memory, churning even more at the look on Joe's face. "And I get it. I know what it was like for the two of you, I know what you went through when he left with Stein. Picking up where you left off... it makes sense." 

Caitlin is suddenly very grateful that the desk is behind her because her legs seem to have decided they won't hold her up any more. She grips the edge of the desk with both hands, lets it support her weight. "Joe..."

"You don't have to let me down easy." He looks like he's trying to smile. The effect is ghastly. "I want you to be happy, Caitlin. I have always wanted you to be happy. Even if it's not with me."

He shrugs at that and she can't help herself. She bursts into giggles that are vaguely hysterical and she fights them back with everything she has. There are tears in her eyes and he looks confused which only makes her want to laugh and cry more. Impatiently wiping the tears away, she straightens up, shakes her head. "You're an idiot, do you know that?"

Joe blinks. Evidently he wasn't expecting that. 

"Is that how little you think of me? Or you? Or us?" Oh, she knows he has some issues with the age difference, or more properly, issues with other people's issues with the age difference - when it's just the two of them, it's never a worry. But they don't live in a vacuum and she knows, because they've talked about it, that he worries about her deciding one day that she's wasted the best years of her life on a man almost old enough to be her father. 

"Yes," she tells him. "Ronnie is back in town. He called me, asked me to meet him. And yes, he wanted us to pick up where we left off." She throws his own words back at him. "I met him because we were engaged once... and I loved him with everything I was. I owed him that much."

"Caitlin-"

"Let. Me. Finish." She grinds the words out. "All the time we've been together, he's been there. A ghost. My ghost. And I did wonder, I did, what I'd do if he came back. What would I say? And what would I do if he never came back? Could I move on, could I take the next step with you, and not regret what might have been? I had so many questions... and then today, I got that phone call." She sucks in a deep, shuddering breath. "And my answer was easy. So much easier than I thought it would be." 

She pushes herself up from the desk, walks towards him on legs that still aren't steady but which are steady enough to close the short distance between them. When she's close enough to feel the heat of his body against hers, close enough to rest her hands on his chest, only then does she speak. 

"I loved Ronnie with everything I was then," she tells him, placing all her emphasis on the last word. "But I love you with everything I am now. And I can't go backwards, I can't... and I don't want to." His eyes are serious, searching her face for any hint of a doubt and she doesn't blink, doesn't break eye contact with him. "I told Ronnie that... and he's not happy. But he understands." 

It seems to take a long time before Joe lifts his hands from his sides, places them on her hips, but when he does, the breath leaves Caitlin's body in a rush and she leans into him, rests her cheek against his shoulder. 

"He's not my ghost anymore," she whispers. "I need you to know that." 

One hand slides from her hip to the small of her back, the other reaches up to smooth down her hair. "I'm sorry." The word is a sigh, heavy and heartfelt. "I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions." 

"No, you shouldn't." The worst might be over but she's not entirely willing to let him off the hook. "Next time, talk to me." 

It's an order, not a request, and he chuckles. "Yes, ma'am." His fingers trace a path down her spine and she shivers. "How about we go somewhere and I'll make it up to you?"

She lifts her head, smiles up at him. "You'd better." 

He chuckles again, brings his lips to hers. "Yes, ma'am."


End file.
